Food Addiction, uninterrupted.

So, to conquer this addiction... is it going to just take time? What triggers it? Well, sadness or being stressed more than anything. Why did I find it appropriate to take 11 online credits while I work full time and live with a house full of adults and two children? Uhm well, because working a dead end job stresses me out... because I want to be something! Problem: I have no patience. If I don't see myself working towards what I want... it stresses me out. But, working towards it stresses me out too. Ugh. Is it ever really going to end? I'm sitting here at work blogging because all I can think about is that left over container of icing I brought to work with me to spread on graham crackers. I felt like I had to be sneaky taking it. But, sneaking past who? Myself? Driving to work I noticed that I was quietly rationalizing why it was OK to bring the icing and graham crackers to work with me. As I stood there spreading that incredible chocolate goodness onto a cracker... I'm thinking, "You are seriously disgusting and overweight, but eat it anyway fatty..." What the hell is wrong with me? So, it's like I depress myself? Then to top it off, I decide to order a pasta bowl from Domino's. Pasta... in a bread bowl? Is that even allowed?? I feel myself slowly starting to slip away. I remember when I used to live in WV. I was unhappy there, but in a different way. More lonely than anything, but I passed my extra time at the gym. I now have no extra time. Am I not happy? Am I seeking happiness in food? Honestly, I don't think being happy would help. Maybe there are just too many unknowns in my life right now? I need to find a way to become obsessed with exercising instead of food. I value my life and I don't want it cut short because of my taste buds winning the battle. This   has   got   to   STOP!!